What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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