You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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