He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
