She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
