yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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