this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
