Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
