She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
