Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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