He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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