Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
