So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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