I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
