sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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