He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
