thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
