Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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