This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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