I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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