i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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