i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
