The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
