I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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