so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize