9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
