You made me cry and you don't even care
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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