I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
COCAINE IS GR8
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize