My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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