He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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