you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
