Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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