It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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