I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
