xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
