IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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