the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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