I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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