She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
