I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
