Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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