He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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