you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
