come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
