Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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