Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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