Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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