yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
