Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
