you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
They have beer where we have blood.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
