new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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