I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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