Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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