remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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