They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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