I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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