How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
