we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize