I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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